Wednesday, February 10, 2010

What's In a Name?


I had to watch the movie Shane for American Lit, and I don’t really know why but I was under the impression that I had been named after him. I seemed to have a distinct memory of being told this, but didn't recall who told me or when, so I questioned it's veracity. I happened to mention it to my professor at the end of class the other day when he reminded us about watching the movie. So today we discussed the movie, and at the end of the class he asked me to come talk to him. He was curious to know if I had indeed been named after the character. So I decided I'd check with my mom, and see if it was true. I was so curious I wanted to call her right after class but she works in the bus barn of a high school, and it was like 2:30 so I knew she'd be busy. So just a few minutes ago, I called her while I was on break. I asked her, "What made you name me Shane?" So I was thinking she was gonna say the movie right, confirm that I wasn’t crazy. But she was like, “well you probably won’t like this….but..” (immediately I knew it was a guy she actually knew) “there was this really hot guy in high school, who died in an accident senior year. I just always liked the name because he was such a sweet guy, everyone liked him.” Then I proceeded to tell her how I had somehow gotten the idea that it was because of the movie Shane, and she told me that she wasn't even sure she'd seen the movie.

So, I am still curious as to how I got this idea in my head that she named me after the movie, but I am somewhat grateful that it found its way in there, because it was an interesting moment with my mom where I learned something about her I never knew. I could also detect a hint of sadness in her voice when she mentioned him dying. These are the moments I enjoy, moments where truth is shared between souls. It's so strange how the weirdest things can bring about moments like this.

We only talked for like 11 minutes, but it was one of the most intimate conversations we've had in awhile. I told her how I felt like I seriously needed psychiatric help because of my problems with worry and anxiety. She was frank with me and said she didn't think so, she said she thought that's just the way I am. My brother is the complete opposite, completely carefree for the most part. She reminded me of something I learned awhile back. Things can be positive or negative, depending on how you look at them. She said "It is a good thing because you think things through." This is so true, I often think them through too much, but that doesn't mean I should throw the baby out with the bathwater, I should embrace the gift I have of foresight, and try instead to harness it, to focus it if you will. To get back to the movie Shane, after trying to give up being a cowboy and a gunslinger, at the end, after once again putting on his six shooter and killing the bad guys to save his new friends, he says "A man's got to be what he is, you can't break the mold." Words of wisdom, Shane.

Now I am curious about this guy I was actually named after, what was he like. What did he look like. I mean apparently he was attractive, what color were his eyes? His hair? What kind of accident was it? Was it his fault, was he a victim of a tragedy? When she saw me as a kid did she think of him. Is that why she called me by my middle name? Interesting how new info can alter the way you see the past.

2 comments:

  1. Since you're not posting a lot on your other blog--I hope you're feeling bad here--I had to track you down all the way to this one!

    So guess which new blog I'm following now!!:P

    I started reading this post, then I read the one below that, and the one below that, and ended up reading all of them. You should feel bad here too, because I was supposed to read this scientific article for school and haven't started it yet!

    (you know I'm kidding, right? Don't want you to feel too bad);)

    I really love this blog.

    It's really interesting. More than you think it is, maybe.

    It's so easy to relate to what you have to say and to who you are. There's so much genuineness (is that a word?) in your writing. It's so real.

    I find that there are many things similar in the way we think, but our views diverge in some points too and that makes it even more interesting.

    Wow, okay, I'm really not commenting your present post at the moment! Focus, Sarah, focus! :P

    The guy your mom knew had to be pretty amazing if she named her kid after him. That's all I can say.

    Oh, and I'm jealous of you because you have an espresso machine and I only have instant coffee.

    By the way, you said you were wondering about what you wanted to have as a job. what do you like doing?

    This comment is really long. (did I just comment on my comment?) --I think I need coffee right now, or else the nonsense is gonna get worse.

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  2. Me again :D

    It's just to answer the comment you left on my blog--I didn't know if you'd see it if I answered you there.

    I think it's amazing that you're aiming to become a teacher and especially math. I've always loved math, especially in cegep. I love how organized and logical it is. I love to juggle with formulas and try to make them work. I understand how you can love the subject.

    I've tutored math once, during cegep, but unlike biology, I had a hard time finding the words to explain the concepts. I thought of taking a year of math after I finished my present course at the university. Don't know if I'll do it, but I sure miss calculus and all.

    I loved it because I was good at it. Or was I good at it because I loved it? :P

    It's a great job, although I think you wouldn't be too bad either in teaching English lit. Or philosophy. Yeah, you could teach all kinds of things!!

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