*this was a comment I left on someone's post about self love, I got so into writing a response that i thought it would make a good post*
You may think this is juvenile or sophomoric, but I find myself reluctant to use the word love recently, becuase Im not convinced it exists...at least in the way we conceptualize it as this never-ending euphoria inducing trance between two souls...in the case of self-love however, I think we are all inherently born with this ability...what i mean is that you don't have to teach a young child to lie and say it wasn't him who spilled red kool-aid on mommy's priceless egyptian rug...he will do it naturally to save his skin...the problem comes when we look for ultimate approval or validation of our identity in something external... this is what leads to low self esteem and a lack of "self love". Actually i think the problem is twofold:
1) looking for validation from outside
2) Lack of awareness of one's true identity
because we look outward for someone to tell us who we are or what our purpose is, we are constantly trying to force ourselves into some mold, whether it's societies' or our parents' or our prospective spouse...we strive to make ourselves fit their idea of what we should be...so how can we embrace and love ourselves when we dont even really know who we are, i mean really are at the core of our being?
1)constant increase of awareness of one's true identity and the courage to follow what one finds regardless of obstructions or warnings
2) constant decrease of impact on self identity by outside forces
this will liberate us to accept who we are because it will allow us to--day by day, moment by moment--discover pieces of who we really are apart from who we should be. Then slowly, we can begin to shuffle the pieces around, looking for the edges that line up, and eventually (I'm hoping) a clear image of our true self can emerge.
"Every human being is intended to have a character of his own; to be what no other one is, and to do what no other can do."